


All I Need

by MotherOfRodents



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Anxiety, Drug Use, F/M, Fucking Teenagers, Mental Illness, Panic Attacks, Porn with some plot, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:27:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25061608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherOfRodents/pseuds/MotherOfRodents
Summary: Bickslow was Cana's first love. The ups and downs of young love and loving someone with mental illness.Set to Foxes' album All I Need.
Relationships: Cana Alberona/Bickslow





	1. Prologue: Rise Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Cana and Bickslow are my favorite characters from Fairy Tail and I decided I wanted to make them happy, because they deserve it. But I also decided to make them a little more relatable to me so they're all fucked up. This technically takes place before my other story I'm Alone, No You're Not.
> 
> Also, keep in mind, that in the Fairy Tail universe, 15 is the legal drinking age so I assume this is also the age they consider someone an adult. Since we see this as underage, I marked this as such. If you're not okay with a 19 year old having sex with a 15 year old (with her consent), then this isn't for you.

  
_If I was a bird, I could fly far, far, far away._

  
Cana groaned. Her body was still aching from the battle of Fairy Tail during Fantasia. She was mad at Laxus. What was he thinking? Why hadn't she picked up on how he was feeling? She talked to him briefly before he left, him just wanting to leave. She gave him a card to call her when he wanted. He was still one of her best friends after all.

But she was mad at Bickslow. Why the hell had he gone along with Laxus' bullshit? She knew Laxus was high and Bickslow would've known too. She was so frustrated. Her blind rage was slowly turning into a panic. 

She looked around at where she was. She was near Lucy's apartment. She began walking towards her destination and then stopped dead in her tracks. She hid around the corner of the building. She watched the scene unfold.

Both Bickslow and Lucy were flushed red. She knew by both of their body language that there was light flirting. She couldn't hear what was being said. She watched her lead him into the building.

The lump in her throat felt as big as her fist. She fell to the ground, her knees giving out beneath her. She couldn't help the waves of panic that washed over her. What was happening? Why was he here? Why did she let him in? She wrapped her arms around her knees as the tears fell freely, silent sobs shaking her body.

If she hadn't been by Lucy's place, she'd have gone to see Bickslow. Her first choice would've been Laxus, but she didn't know where he was. And he said he'd call her when he got the chance.

She didn't know what to do. Her first love was with one of her best friends and her other best friend was no where to be found.

All she could do was let the panic attack wash over her in its usual tsunami manner. She cried as she tried to forget why she was crying in the first place. 

She was still in love with him. 


	2. Better Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cana and Bickslow admit their feelings for each other. They also share their a few secrets.

_Show me love, better love._   
_Show me love, better love._

Cana laid down in the grass and looked at the moon. She sat the tankard on her stomach and sighed. She sat up slightly to bring the tankard to her lips.

"What are you up to, _lush?"_

She turned to see Bickslow standing there, hood in hand. "I'm not a lush. Not _yet_ anyway." She watched him sit down next to her and offered him the tankard.

He took it from her and took a swig. "Maybe not. But considering you just turned old enough to drink _legally."_ He chuckled as his tongue lolled from his mouth and she flicked his guildmark. His tongue slowly drew back into his mouth and he smirked. His eyes narrowed at her as he took another sip and handed it back to her. "You're something else."

She smiled at him. "I'll take that as a compliment." She drank the rest of what was in the tankard and sat down between them. "Regardless of legality, I can drink more than you." She pursed her lips and sighed. "But now I have no more..." She cocked her head at him. "Wanna get me some?"

He sighed. "You're gonna find some shitty way to get some if I say no, right?" Yes, she was legally old enough to drink and buy it, but most of the places in Magnolia had a silent rule of sixteen rather than fifteen. He chuckled when she nodded. At least she's honest. He stood up and reached out for her hand. "Let's go to my place, _lush._ I got some. And if necessary, I'll go and get some more. You stay the night so you don't get into trouble. Deal?"

She took his hand and stood up then intertwined their fingers. "Lead the way!" 

He chuckled as he led her to his house on the outskirts of town. He got it a few months back. Laxus had been an S-class wizard for about a year now and those missions paid relatively well. He had saved up some money and had enough to buy a little house.

He smiled as she giggled as whatever she had said under her breath as he pulled his keys from his pocket with his free hand. He wasn't sure why the fifteen year old drunk was still holding his hand, but honestly he didn't mind. He smiled as she didn't let go of his hand as he led her to his small kitchen and grabbed a couple cups from a cabinet. He turned to see her open the fridge and grab the case of beer from the fridge. He leaned down next to her and grabbed a bottle of whiskey.

"And you call me a lush." She chuckled as he put the bottle under his arm and grabbed the cups.

He led her to the couch and she sat down and pulled him with her. He put the bottle and the cups on the coffee table. "I like a drink every now and then. Meanwhile, you've been drunk for the past two years." He had grown comfortable with her hand in his and reached over to open her beer. "But I won't judge you for that." He reached to grab the bottle of whiskey and opened it, then poured some into one of the cups.

She watched as he took a sip of the brown liquid as she took a sip of her beer. "I know you wouldn't." She smiled as he turned to look at her. "Wanna know a secret?" She leaned her head against his arm as she took a large swig, downing half the bottle. 

He chuckled and his tongue lolled from his mouth. "Sure, why not?"

She finished her beer and reached for another. She smiled as she watched him finish his his drink, set his glass down, opened her beer and took it from her. She chuckled and grabbed another and he opened it for her again. She took a sip. She was afraid to look at him. "I've had a crush on you since you joined the guild three years ago."

He propped his chin on their still joined hands. "You were twelve." He scoffed when she rolled her eyes. "I was sixteen." 

_I cried myself to sleep again._   
_You lie right there, but I've learned nothing._   
_I do my best to ease your pain;_   
_And here we are, but we've learned nothing._

"And super hot." She winked at him. "I just thought you were cool and different. And you were always really sweet and nice to me." She blushed as she saw him smile against her fingertips. 

He chuckled as she finished her beer and grabbed his. "Nervous?" He didn't want her to be. He thought she was pretty and funny. She was curvy in all the right ways. She recently started to wear her hair down and he'd come to prefer it.

She sighed and grabbed another couple beers and he opened and took one. "Yeah," she whispered as she felt his leg touch hers. 

"Don't be. I know I wouldn't be your first boyfriend or anything."

Her head shot in his direction. "Well, no, but..." She didn't know what to do or say. She just sat there in silence while he stuck his tongue out at her. He's right. _'It's not like he would be my first boyfriend. And of we were to have sex, it wouldn't be the first time. Why am I so nervous?... Fuck it. I'm just gonna kiss him. I'll be okay after that.'_ She leaned in and kissed him, surprised when his lips responded in kind. She pulled away to breathe. She chuckled when she saw him smile at her.

"Still nervous?" He kissed her hand, still in his.

She shook her head. She took a sip of her beer. "I _definitely_ feel better." She leaned back into the couch and closed her eyes. She smiled when she felt him lean back next to her. She took a swig from her beer.

He smiled as he watched her relax more as time pressed on. Eventually, her eyes opened back up to find his. "What do you wanna do tonight, Cana?" He didn't really expect anything. He enjoyed her company, as he always had. He was just glad his feelings were reciprocated.

She sighed, then finished her beer. She sat up and poured herself a glass of whiskey. "It doesn't really matter. I'm here. With you. And with alcohol. So, I'm pretty set." She turned to look at him as she sipped from the glass. 

"I do know that at some point, I'd like to change my clothes. We did get back from a mission today."

"Then go change."

He chuckled then held up their still joined hands. "I don't think either of us wants to let go."

She exhaled loudly as she thought. "We can let go. I'll come with you, but promise not to look."

"Oh, but you will." He stood up and pulled her up with him. He chuckled when she giggled and stumbled slightly. ' _How is it that her body is drunk but her mind isn't? She seems so... Sober.'_ He led her to his bedroom, where she willingly let go of his hand and held it out to hold his beer while he changed. He handed it to her and took off his several layers of shirts in one single swipe. He went to the dresser and pulled two pairs of pajama pants and a t-shirt from a drawer. He turned around to hand her the clothes and was surprised to see her eyes closed. 

"Really not gonna look? How sweet. I have some clothes for you to change into if you want." He set the shirt and a pair of pants and put them on the bed. "I really don't understand why you're not looking. I know you've seen me at the spring." He grinned at the crimson that spread across her face, almost the same color as his eyes. He chuckled as she stuttered and then finished her drink and turned around and drank his beer. He slipped off his pants and put on the pajamas. He turned back around to see that she had managed to silently walk up to the bed and take her dress off and slip on his shirt.

"Let's go drink some more." She smiled as she walked up to him and patted his bare chest. 

He watched as she walked out of the room _. 'How is she still standing straight? I haven't had that much, and I'm starting to feel it.'_ He walked back out to the living room and found that she had turned on the lacrima television onto one of those old movie channels. He sat next to her on the couch and she poured him a glass of whiskey. "Trying to get me drunk?"

"Oh, you know it." She smiled at the screen and giggled. She handed it to him and sipped on her own refilled glass. She scooted close to him and curled up into his side. She sighed happily when he put his arm around her. "Do you want to play a game?"

He looked down at her, her eyes still glued to the screen. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Thought I'd give you a fighting chance to get me drunk, too."

He laughed. "We can do whatever you wanna do." The image of her lace trimmed black underwear flashed in his mind before going away.

"Do you have any games?"

"A few. But if I'm being honest, I'd rather not."

She nodded. "Then what do you have in mind?" She looked up at him.

"We could play a card game. I could probably fuck you up really quick."

She smiled as she pulled away and reached for her bag in the floor and pulled out a deck of cards. She handed him the cards. "What kind of drinking game do you have in mind?"

He lightly shuffled the deck and he didn't miss how her eyes watched his fingers. "Figure a simple truth or dare. Evens are truths, odds are dares. Lower numbers are easier things to do. High cards are the rougher stuff." He set the deck on the table and gestured for her to take a card. "If you want to pass, you drink. From a sip to a whole drink."

She took a card and showed it to him. "Ace of spades. Do you play aces high or low?"

His tongue lolled from his mouth while he thought, then he remembered something interesting. _'Her bra was on the floor...'_ "I'll let you decide. Or we can just decide for ourselves on a case by case basis."

She smirked. _'He saw it. Oh thank, Mavis...'_ She cocked her head. "I'm feeling lucky. Let's make it high."

He stayed silent for a moment, wondering if he should even do it. To be honest, he didn't care. If it was something she didn't want, all she had to do was say no and he'd stop. "I dare you to... Take off your shirt. Or, well, my shirt." He shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

She gracefully slipped off the garment. Her hair just long enough to cover the pert peaks of her large breasts. "Your turn."

He could hardly look away. She was so beautiful. He picked up a card and showed it to her. "Seven of diamonds."

She sighed as she thought. She could feel his eyes roaming over her bare skin. She felt the swell of pride when she flipped her hair over her shoulder revealing a breast fully and his breath hitched. "I dare you to lend me your babies for the night."

"That is weird as fuck and not at all what I was expecting, but okay then." He laughed as his babies came into the room, the four totems bobbing happily in the air around her. He watched as she excitedly looked at each one while grabbing a card and showing it to him without even looking at it herself. "King of hearts." He chuckled as that pulled her from her thoughts and she closed her eyes. "I'm gonna regret this, but I dare you to make us drinks. With whatever you find." He thought he'd make this one easier for her.

If he was being honest with himself, he just wanted to see her body move. He watched as she stood up and walked away. As she walked away, she started to pull her hair up and stopped when he whimpered softly. She let go of a good portion of her hair and put half of it up in a bun. She walked across the room into his kitchen and opened the fridge, bending down to check the contents.

He had to look away and close his eyes. He liked her, but he didn't want to treat her like every other girl, because she wasn't every other girl or even like them. He genuinely liked her. He adjusted the growing tent in his pants and drew a card. "Six of clubs."

She laughed slightly as she poured something the color of orange juice but smelled like mangoes and pineapples into the glasses. "With the way you're acting, I'd say that you've got a little crush on me too. Is that true?"

He chuckled; she kept surprising him. "Yeah. I do. I have for awhile now, but I just didn't want to do anything about it. I didn't know how you felt about me. Or the age gap."

"You act like there's twenty years between us. It's just four. Will one of you babies come here, please?" One of the totems went over to her and she set the drink down on it. "Take that to Bickslow, please." She followed closely behind with her own drink in her hand.

He took a sip of the strange colored liquid as she sat down. "Oh, that is strong. I made a terrible mistake." He fake cried as she took a card and laughed at him.

"Ten of diamonds."

"Why so you drink so much? And don't say because it's fun or it tastes good."

She sighed. She looked into her glass and drank the whole thing and set the glass on the counter. "Your turn, Bix."

His brow raised slowly as he took a card. "King of Diamonds." He could tell by the look on her face that he was about to be in trouble.

"I'll give you this pass once and give you a truth. If you touched me, you wouldn't be able to stop, would you?"

He swallowed hard and licked his lips. "No, I wouldn't." He stared as her eyes studied his face. He was unsure of what she was searching for. He took a large swig from his glass as she scooted closer and tried not to keep his eyes glued to her breasts as they swayed from the shift in her body.

"Why won't you look at me or touch me?"

"I don't want to take advantage of you."

She sighed and smiled at him. She grabbed a beer from the case and a card from the pile. "Five of hearts." She opened the bottle and took a sip from it.

He sighed. He didn't know what to do or say. She was reading him like she read her cards, and he wasn't used to that. He tried to think.

"We don't have to play anymore. But I will drink that if you won't." She gestured to the drink she made and he handed it to her. She downed it in record time and put the glass on the table and grabbed her cards. She reached over him to get the cards he had drawn and felt her nipples graze the fabric of his pants. She didn't mean for it to happen and felt bad. She sat back down and reached for her bag as his eyes closed and he sighed. She put the cards in her bag and put it back on the floor. "I don't want to take advantage of you either. But if I'm being honest, I've been doing that all night. I'm sorry." She reached for the shirt on the floor and felt his hand on her wrist.

"Don't be. I knew what you were doing. And it made me feel better that you were leading." He watched as she leaned back against the couch and used the shirt to cover herself. "I really like you. A whole lot. And I don't want to mess this up. Because you deserve the best. And as much as I'd love to look at you and touch you and fuck you, I won't. At least not tonight."

She smiled at him. "That's sweet of you. And I'm okay with that. To an extent." She laughed when he lifted a brow at her. "I like you a lot too. And I get wanting to take this slow. But I still really want to kiss you and touch you."

He chuckled and took a sip of his beer. "Okay. If that's what you want." He smiled as she curled up against his side, her skin warm and soft. He looked down at her as she took a sip of her beer. He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and covered her with it.

"Thank you," she whispered as she wrapped her free arm around his waist. She giggled at the tv again. All she wanted was for him to touch her, but he was being a gentleman. She knew he could be at times, but wasn't really expecting it from him given the situation. She adjusted herself so her leg was draped over his lap. She smiled as one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders and the other fell over her leg. 

He smiled as he felt her pepper kisses on his chest. "You're really wanting attention." He chuckled as she nodded. He turned to look at her as she sat up straight and looked into her eyes. He kissed her, her lips softer than the rest of her. He groaned softly as she slid into his lap and pressed her chest against his. He smiled as her tongue touched his lips, asking for entrance. 

She thrusted her tongue against his but soon lost the battle for dominance, almost melting in his lap. She grinded her hips against him and felt his whole body go rigid. 

"Cana." He sighed as he broke away. He really didn't want anything more to happen, but she seemed intent on making it happen.

"If you were to meet me halfway, I'd slow down." She leaned back slightly as he rubbed his face with both his hands. "I do like that you want to take it slow, though." She chuckled as he looked at her incredulously. "I'm serious."

He laughed as he cross his arms, trying to ignore the feeling of her nipples. "Oh, I know." He tried to steel his resolve as she put her hands on his cheeks.

"I'm not saying have sex tonight. I just..." She sighed as she watched him relax slightly. "I just want you to touch me. You don't have to get intense or anything. But..." She uncrossed his arms and put his hands on her waist. She was hesitant to let his hands go, but did when she felt his fingers press into her skin. "Not so bad, is it?" she whispered as he pulled her flush to him, wrapped his arms around her, and buried his face in her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he stood up.

He smiled as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He had one of his babies turn off the lacrima television. He walked them into his room and attempted to lay her down on the bed but she didn't let him go. "You're being difficult." He groaned as she kissed his neck and bit his collarbone. He rolled them over and smiled as she sat up. "Very difficult."

She attempted to get off of him but he held her in place. She sighed and leaned her head back as his hands trailed up her back and he sat up. "I see you're not going to be anymore." She gasped as his tongue went up the side of her neck, over her racing pulse. She smiled as he bit her ear. She leaned to one side to fall towards the pillows.

He smiled as he laid next to her. He pulled her close and kissed her. He smiled as she held his tongue hostage between her teeth. He chuckled as she bit down harder, then released. "I am tired though. Self control takes a lot out of a man." He smiled as she planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

"We can go to sleep then." She watched as he sat up and pulled the blanket from the foot of the bed around them. She rolled over and cooed in approval as he pulled her close to him. She moaned as he kissed her shoulder. "Can I put my hair up now?" She giggled as he nodded. She sat up and pulled her hair from the half up bun and put it all up again. She laid back down and he pulled her flush to him. "I thought you wanted to sleep."

"I said I was tired." He held his breath as she shimmied against him. He exhaled when she intertwined their fingers. He moved his thumb and it grazed her breast. He smiled as the small shudder the tiny action sent through her.

"Let's go to sleep." She rocked her hips against him, feeling his growing arousal against her bottom. She closed her eyes and felt his other arm snake under her. She moaned breathily as he grabbed her breast.

"I thought you wanted me to touch you." He licked the shell of her ear and let go of her hand to grab her other breast. "Well, now I'm touching you." He bit her neck softly as she moaned. He felt her hand grab his hip with a force and strength he didn't know she had. He groaned as her fingernails dug deep into his skin then let her breasts go. He wrapped his arms around her and she intertwined her fingers with his. 

She hummed contently as he kissed her shoulder. She closed her eyes and smiled at the feeling of his breath on her neck. She was happy. She wasn't mad at her mom for leaving her alone or keeping her dad a secret. She wasn't mad at her dad for not being there or not knowing she exists. She was happy, in that moment, with him.

*****

_And it's killing me._   
_When I'm in your arms, I forget the darker days._   
_And it's haunting me_   
_These feet of mine won't let me march away._

She rubbed her head as she sat up. She was beginning to get mad at her subconscious and how it kept making her dream of Bickslow. They were friends. And that was that. She knew she wasn't going to get more. She sighed as she got up, bottles clinking on the floor. She grumbled to herself about how she needed to clean as she walked into the bathroom.

She was hazy through her morning routine, not remembering half of it, mostly because she was still half asleep. She walked into the living room of her small apartment at Fairy Hills. She picked up her bag with her cards in it and left.

She found she was still somewhat hazy as she walked into the guild hall. She knew everyone would think she was hungover and honestly would rather them think that. She didn't like others knowing she often had dibilitating panic attacks that refused to let her sleep. Hence why she drank. She was less anxious and the panic attacks came less frequently.

She lazily waved at Mira as she walked past the bar, knowing she needed to go on a mission so she could have drinking money and the little rent she paid. She walked up to the board and looked at the postings. She groaned as she felt a weight on her head. She turned to see pinstripes.

 _'Great. Exactly who I needed to see right now. Fuckin' perfect.'_ She cleared her throat at him. "Bickslow, your arm is heavy." She continued to read the posters as he chuckled.

"Wanna come with us on a mission? Laxus won't mind." He chuckled again as his teammate snorted and huffed loudly.

"As much as I appreciate the offer, I will pass..." She found one she knew she could easily finish, and finish quickly, and pulled it from the board.

"What about with just me?"

She scoffed. "Yeah, because hanging out with me would a blast for you." She internally slapped herself at her sarcasm. Yeah, she wanted him to come, but he couldn't really be serious. Why would he be?

Oh, but he was. "I'm serious."

She looked up at him incredulously and then peered around him to the upper balcony at Laxus, who was smirking at her. _'That's not creepy at all. I'll have to talk to him about that...'_ She looked back at Bickslow studied his expression. "Why?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "Can't a friend want to hang out?"

"And that has to be while on a mission?" She turned to walk away but he put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"You can have the money. I do just wanna hang out. It's been awhile since just the two of us hung out."

"Fine. Let's go. This shouldn't take more than a day or two. Do you need to go home and get stuff?" She walked over to the bar with him in tow and rolled her eyes when she practically saw the hearts in Mira's eyes as she handed her the flyer.

"Only if you need to."

She turned and looked at him as he hoped onto his babies. "Fine you can go get stuff. Just meet me at my apartment."

His tongue lolled from his mouth as he sped off and out of the guild hall. Cana walked to the door then turned to look up at Laxus one last time. He was still smirking strangely at her. "You're a fucking creep sometimes," she whispered and watched him shrug in response. She rolled her eyes again and left.

She tried not to think about Laxus' creeping as she walked into her apartment. She'd thought about it the whole walk home and it just kind of pissed her off. She was one of the few people he'd talk to on a regular basis outside of his team. She thought they were friends but the way he was smirking at her... She didn't like it.

She scurried around grabbing things to put in a bag as she heard a knock on the door. She yelled for them to just come in.

"What's taking you so long?"

"Sorry, I got distracted." It wasn't a lie. Laxus being weird really threw her off and she wasn't quite sure why. "Do you know why Laxus was looking at me funny?" She turned to look at Bickslow and didn't miss the faint blush on the part of his face she could see.

"He's just being Laxus?" He shrugged as his tongue lolled from his mouth. He smiled when she walked up to him and flicked his tongue. "That wasn't very nice."

She rolled her eyes and walked out of her apartment, waiting for him to follow so she could lock the door. As they walked out of Fairy Hills, she felt his eyes on her. _'Why the fuck are they acting so weird?'_

They walked in silence for a long while. Finally, when they got deep into the forest, she stopped and turned to him. "Why did you really want to come with me?" She crossed her arms and waited expectantly for an answer. She could feel her fingers starting to shake, a panic attack threatening to make an appearance. She reached into her purse and pulled out a flask she kept for missions. She opened it and took a sip of the stinging liquid as he just stared at his feet. "Are you gonna talk to me or what?"

He took of his hood and look at her. "I.. uh... Well..."

She stepped closer, hoping he hadn't noticed her small shakes. "Uh huh... Spit it out."

He sighed. "I really like you. And Laxus seems to be under the impression that you like me too... But I think I'm gonna go... " He took a step back then stopped when he noticed her shaking. He could hear her mumbling and stepped closer to listen better.

"Of course Laxus told him. I expect nothing less from that coked out asshole. Oh my gods, this is for real. This is not a dream. What is going on?" She laughed slightly as she dropped to her knees, panic attack in full swing.

Bickslow sat in front of her and listened to her nonsensical words. _'What the fuck is going on? Is she okay?'_ And then he remembered Laxus telling him to watch out for a panic attack when she got really nervous or stressed. He realized that was exactly what was happening as she tapped each of her fingertips to her thumbs. He took her hands and intertwined their fingers. She looked up at him with wide, wet eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out where harsh, sharp breaths.

"It's gonna be okay." He knew that was a stupid thing to say and he hated it when Laxus would tell him about his blackouts. He put his arms around her and pulled her close. He had never seen her so fragile. He kissed her forehead and stroked her hair. He picked up her flask from the ground and handed it to her. She took a large sip and rested her head on his shoulder as her breathing finally leveled.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm alright." She sighed as she pulled away and stared at the dirt on her knees. "Now I know why Laxus was creeping on us." She rolled her eyes.

He laughed softly. "Yeah... He's been trying to get me to talk to you about it for months. And then a few days ago, he said 'she fucking likes you too' and got all pissy like he does." He smiled when he saw her smile.

"I assume he told you about my panic attacks. He's the only one that I've told." She shrugged as he nodded. "Yeah... Did he tell you that he was the one who would buy me beer before?" She smiled as he chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, such a great influence he is. He found me having a panic attack one day and he wasn't sure how to help. So he just handed me his tankard and sat down."

"Of course he did." He didn't expect anything less from his best friend.

"He wasn't too pleased when I asked if he'd buy some for me, but he knew why I was asking. He saw that it helps me. And he's been feeding my habit ever since." She smiled widely at him.

He laughed as he stood up. He reached out his hand for her to take and pulled her up when she did. He pulled her close to him and leaned down to press his forehead against hers. He stared into her eyes, never noticing the deep purple specs floating in the brown of her irises. He kissed her. He wasn't expecting her to be as tender as she was, moving her lips against his with so much meaning behind them.

She pulled away and looked up at him. She sighed. For the first time in a long time, the neurosis in her head quieted to whispers. 

  
*****

_Don't ask me how_   
_But I always thought that we could have a better love._   
_When you lay me down,_   
_I forget that all I want is a better love._

She smiled at him as he brought over a few fish that he had caught for dinner. He wanted to stay at the inn not too far away, and even offered to pay for it. She, however, was perfectly fine with sleeping under the stars. Eventually, he caved and let her have her way.

She laid on her back while he prepared the fish for them. She hummed to herself and then stopped when she heard him hiss softly. She looked up to see him rubbing his temple, looking at something out of the corner of his eye.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just a headache."

She nodded to her purse that lay next to him. "I think I have something in there if you wanna look." She laid back down and closed her eyes. Then immediately regretted letting him look in there. She blushed as he coughed intensely and grabbed the bottle of aspirin from her purse, opened it, shook a couple out, then closed it and put it back in her purse.

He looked up at her and smiled at the blush that had settled over her face. He quickly took the small silver bullet from her purse and pocketed it. _'I'll just ask about that later...'_

She sat up and looked at him, relieved he didn't see the little vibrator. Or if he did, he just kept it to himself. She got and up sat next to him, putting her head on his shoulder. This was something she had done countless times before, but this time it was different. He turned to kiss the top of her head and she smiled. 

She sighed as he handed her a skewered fish. Even without seasoning and spices, it tasted good. She smiled as she remembered that Laxus made him cook for her birthday. And then she remembered that Laxus spent almost her whole birthday trying to get her alone with Bickslow. And it reminded her of someone else they knew. _'Oh. My. Gods.'_

"Are Laxus and Mira together?" 

He shrugged as he finished his fish. "They were. And then Lisanna died. And she kinda pushed him away. And it hurt his feelings. Don't tell him I told you that though."

She nodded as she finished her own food. "Makes so much sense. Him playing matchmaker for us and all."

He chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah... Don't tell him you caught on. He'll be pissed."

She snorted. "I don't care. I'm still mad at him for doing coke in my bathroom. I had a four hour long panic attack because of that shit. He can be pissed all he wants." She shook her head mockingly and roller her eyes.

Bickslow grimaced. Laxus had told him about that. "That was my fault." He leaned away slightly as she slowly turned to look at him.

"I. Know."

"I'm so sorry."

"You better fucking be." She sighed. "How are you gonna make it up to me?" She cocked an eyebrow at him and pursed her lips.

He shrugged. "I don't know..." But he did. And it involved the little silver bullet in his pocket. He watched her pull a blanket from her bag and lay down, using the bag as a pillow. He laid behind her and snuggled up to her. He felt her body relax as he slipped an arm under her and around her waist. 

She thought it was weird that he put his arm under her, but didn't think anymore of it when she felt his fingers in her thigh playing with the hem of her dress. She sighed contently as he kissed her neck. She smiled as he gently lifted her dress. She wondered what exactly he had in mind but decided it was best to go with the flow. She felt his fingers trace the lace of her panties.

She opened her mouth to say something snarky and then felt a familiar smooth feeling and heard a buzzing sound. He nibbled her ear as she moaned softly. He put his knee between hers as small shudders went through her body. He smirked as she rushed to pull off her underwear and pull up her dress. She groaned in annoyance and he was slightly confused as to why, until the fabric covering his knee became soaked.

"Oh..." He chuckled at the realization of what it was and wanted to make her do it all the time. He pressed the small metal appendage against her throbbing mound. He reached down with his other hand and rubbed her slick folds with his fingers. He bit her earlobe as her thighs started to shake. He smiled as he felt a strong gush against his fingers.

She grabbed his wirsts. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to stop of keep going. She sighed when he stopped and tried to calm her breathing. She turned her head and smiled as he untied her dress behind her neck. 

"I didn't mean for you to find that..." 

He kissed her cheek, heated from the blush on her face. "Oh, but I did." He pulled the little metal appendage from her and held it in front of his face, visibly slick from her orgasms. He licked it, wondering what she tasted like. He smiled as her blush deepened. "Did that make up for me ruining your birthday?"

She sighed and smiled. "Partially..." She moaned softly as he grinded against her. She groaned and chuckled. "You're killing me."

He rubbed his fingers against her folds softly, pressing a single digit gently through. "I could always do more for you. But it seems like I might have to get you naked... Don't want to soak your dress." He bit the shell of her ear as she moaned. He groaned as she reached around and slid her hand down his pants. "Wait."

She whimpered as he pulled his finger from her and his hand away. She sighed as he pulled her hand from his pants. She pouted at him and he shrugged.

"As much as I'd like to that, I'd rather our first time together not be in the woods on the ground."

She blushed and giggled. "Awe. You're a romantic. I never would've guess. So sweet." She stroked the length of his nose along the person tattoo. She remembered it used to look like a brand and then Laxus thought it would be cool to get it tattooed. She chuckled at the memory. "I remember you and Laxus came over, all coked out, rambling about how you got tattoos."

He laughed and covered his face. "Oh, god. I remember... Laxus wanted you to be the first one to see. And he knew you'd still be awake and not judge us."

She smiled as she rolled over to look at him. "I was nervous about the coke. I just don't like being around coke itself. Laxus got some for me to try and it was bad... Like really bad. Like I hid under my bed for six hours while he tried to get me to come out. It made my anxiety so much worse. And ever since then, I don't like to be around it."

He sighed. "I remember. He called me over, remember? He asked me to come because I freaked out the first time too. I only did it a few times with him. And every time I did, we did something ridiculously stupid. Like getting tattoos." He smiled down at her. Her face was the calmest he had seen it in years. He sighed as he pulled her in for a tight hug.

She wrapped her arms around him. She had spent the last several hours smiling so much that her cheeks were starting to hurt. But she didn't care, she kept smiling. She was happy. And nothing else mattered in that moment. 

*****

_Show me a better love._   
_Show me a better love, better love._   
_Show me a better love._   
_Show me a better love, better love._

Laxus smirked at his friend. He could tell that Bickslow had finally talked to Cana about how he felt. He could smell her on him. He could tell by the scent that they hadn't had sex, but had slept together the couple of days they were gone. He was happy for them. Maybe they'd both shut the fuck up and stop talking to him about it.

He then noticed Bickslow was acting a little... Off. And then he realized why he had come over to his house when he got back from the mission instead of taking Cana to his place. He kept looking out if the corners of his eyes and shaking his head.

"When did it start?"

"Earlier today." He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. "I didn't say anything 'cause I didn't want her to freak out. And after seeing her have a panic attack from start to finish, I really didn't want to be the cause of that."

Laxus sighed. He knew his friend was right. Had Bickslow told her about his own shit, she would've lost it. She would've done anything and everything in her power to make it stop. But he also knew Bickslow wasn't the biggest fan of keeping secrets. "You should still tell her about it. It's for the best. She won't think any less of you. She'll want to help."

He groaned loudly. "I don't need anymore help. I have you and Freed. And now Ever. That's more than enough."

"Help isn't just talking it out, like you do with us. It's just being there. I know that helps you too. You come over here sometimes just to have someone to sit with while it's happening. She doesn't really like to talk about her feelings and doesn't expect anyone else to. She'd be okay with you just chillin' out with her."

He stared into the corner of the room where the shadow ran to. "I guess I can try."

"Why don't you go there now, man? She probably went to that store that's open all night. The guy who works at night actually let's her buy. She probably went to stock up. She only goes on missions when she runs out."

He rubbed his face and nodded. "Okay, man." He stood up as there was a knock on the door.

"Laxus! I know you're awake, coke head. Get drunk with me!"

Both men chuckled softly at the young woman. Bickslow walked over to the door and opened it. "Hey, you."

"Hi, handsome." She walked past him and he closed the door behind her. She sat on the couch next to Laxus. "You don't have any of your shit out here, right? Because I love you, but I cannot handle that right now." She leaned back and groaned.

"You're all good, _lush."_ He might've taken slight offense at the 'coke head' comment. 

She sneered at him. "Someone's touchy tonight." She took a sip of her beer. "Get told no? No V for tonight?"

Laxus wanted to be mad but couldn't. He could tell by the way her body swayed slightly that she had a rough day. "You're too much, Cana." His smile faded slightly as he realized she was watching Bickslow intently, studying him in a way he'd only seen her use in battle. He nudged her and she turned her head towards him without looking away from Bickslow, who was once again staring into the corner and mumbling to himself. _Why am I a magnet for crazy?_ He whispered, "You okay?"

"Yeah, he's just been acting weird since this morning. I don't know why. But he does keep doing this type of shit."

He sighed. "Bix!" He yelled, pulling the other man from whatever hole he was looking into. He watched as he walked back over and sat on the other side of Cana, puting his arm around her. "She picked up on your behavior. Mind telling her what that's about?"

He groaned and looked down at her. She put her hand on his knee and waited. Finally, he spoke, grateful that Laxus got up and let him do this alone. "I've had some issues for a long time. It turns out I've got schizophrenia. I was diagnosed recently. And it's hard. I hear things and see things that aren't really there. And sometimes, I blackout and lose track of time."

All she could do was smile. Her anxiety made her think she had done something to make him act that way. "I'm glad you told me. Maybe we can try and help each other. It'll be hard. But I feel like you're worth whatever the price." 

He smiled and pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. "Thank you." He nodded at Laxus, who stood in the doorway drinking from a bottle of water. 

"Well, I guess when you know about the worst in someone, it's easier to see the best." The blond shrugged. "I don't fucking know." He sat back down next to Cana. He sniffled and she rolled her eyes. "Stop. I know what you're gonna say. And you have no room to talk." He raised his brows as she took a sip from her beer.

She made a mocking type of expression at him and laughed. She sighed. "My guys," she whispered as he intertwined her fingers with Bickslow's and rested her head on Laxus' shoulder.

*****

They had been together almost a month. Just trying to get used to the crazy the other had in store. They enjoyed the time they spent together, talking and drinking, eventually fooling around some. She enjoyed him. He made all the things she had panic attacks over seem trivial and small, making her feel better in a way no one had before. 

She hummed contently as the water calmed her muscles. She sat in the hot spring, eyes closed and smiling as she heard the door open. She knew by the way they walked that it was Bickslow. She heard the shuffling of fabric and then felt him slip into the water next to her.

"Rare calm day here at the guild."

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Very few people around. Laxus and Freed off without you?"

He nodded. "Training our newest team member."

"Yeah. Evergreen, right?"

"Yeah. Laxus said I didn't need to be there. So, I decided to stay with you."

She chuckled. "Isn't that sweet?" She leaned in and kissed him. "I was thinking of coming by later today."

"What time were you thinking?"

"Whenever I'm done here." She closed her eyes again and smiled when his hand found hers.

"Sounds good to me."

"You'll probably want to leave before me. In case you forgot, we drank the rest of your alcohol last night." She chuckled and a dusting of pink settled on her face as she remembered the previous night and how much they did and didn't do. 

He groaned. "You're gonna be the death of me. Or at least my liver." He looked at her: her long, beautiful hair up in a messy bun, her tan skin glistening from the water. He loved looking at her. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you, Bickslow." She loved that he constantly showered her with compliments. And gave her alcohol. She wasn't sure which she liked more. She opened her eyes and looked at him, finding his eyes on her. She smiled at him. "Maybe you should leave now..." She reached over and touched his thigh with her free hand, her fingers grazing his erection, and squeezed. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back and he kissed her cheek and got out of the water. She heard the shuffling of fabric, felt a kiss on her forehead, and opened her eyes to see him walk away.

She took her time drying off and puting her clothes back on. She meandered from the guild hall to his house. She tried not to panic about what she planned to do. She didn't even know why she was nervous about it. It wouldn't be her first time. But it would be the first time with someone she... She wasn't sure if she loved him, but it felt pretty damn close. She was greeted by his babies outside and they led her inside. The door closed behind her and she slipped off her sandals and went over to the couch where he was sitting.

"Hey, you. Took your sweet time getting here." He held out a beer for her and she took it.

"I just like making you wait." She took a sip as he took her free hand. Her heart skipped a beat at seeing so much of his skin. "Also, if it means I get to come over and see you just in those little boxer briefs, then I will _always_ be late." She smirked as he stood up and put his hands on her waist.

He leaned down and kissed her. "You're killing me." He let her go and sat back down. He watched as she sat next to him and draped her legs over his. "What are your plans for today?" He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as he clasped his hands over her knee.

_I hurt myself again today._   
_You lie right there, and you say nothing._   
_I do my best to leave this pain,_   
_But here we are, and we've learned nothing._

She took a large swig from her beer and laid down. She took a cushion and put it under her head and back to prop her up. "I was planning on you fucking me senseless for hours." She smiled and took a drink as his head shot in her direction. She laughed as his brow furrowed and he stuttered. "We don't have to. That was just my plan." She finished her beer and set the empty bottle on the coffee table, laid back down, and closed her eyes. She smiled as the panic subsided, calming her down. She relaxed. She was ready and excited. 

His mind was racing. He wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to, but he was nervous. He kept his eyes on her as she shifted slightly, her dress revealing a couple more inches of her thighs. _'Fuck it.'_ He leaned over and got on top of her. He kissed her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She moaned as he lightly pressed himself against her core. She pulled on her dress, pulling up and breaking away for a brief moment to pull it off. 

He sat up and pulled her into his lap. He smiled as her arms let him go briefly to undo her bra and take it off. He grabbed her thighs and stood up and walked into the bedroom. He laid her down and propped himself up on his elbows. She reached down and pulled down his underwear. She moaned as his free member pushed against her panties. She unwrapped her legs from around him and let them fall to the bed. She pushed down her own underwear and felt him pull them off. She moaned and pressed her legs into his sides as he reached between them.

He was finally able to break away from her lips. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, gods! Fucking do it!" She laughed when she saw his expression. "I'm so sorry, babe. Please, just," she chuckled, trying to keep her composure, "do it." She reached between them and wrapped her thin fingers around his member, stroking it gently. "Please," she whispered and kissed him. She guided him to her entrance, smiling as he groaned. She put her other hand on his lower back and gently pushed him inside of her.

He exhaled and looked into her eyes. He nodded and she wrapped her legs around his waist and groaned as she pushed him inside her fully. He propped himself up on his hands. She put her hands on his hips, urging him to move. He slowly thrusted into her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders and pulled him down to kiss him. 

She moaned as he sped up his ministrations. She unwrapped her legs from around him and brought them up to her sides. Curses fell from her lips as he pinned her legs down to the bed. Her hand traveled to her core and began to rub circles around her pearl, the coil in her belly tightening. She grabbed a handful of his blue hair and put her forehead against his.

He groaned as his lips claimed hers violently. He felt her relax immensely, then a burst of hot liquid hit his stomach. He had felt her squirt before, but had never experienced that before and he really liked it. He let go of one of her thighs and touched her throbbing mound. She held down her thigh as he had while he rubbed her mound hard and fast, on pace with the ministrations of his hips.

He bit her lip as he felt her beginning to clench around his member. He smirked as another gush came from her. She let go of her thigh and rolled them over so she was on top. She sat up and rolled her hips against him. She moaned as he reached up and grabbed one of her breasts, rolling her nipple between his fingers. He watched as her body bounced beautifully on top of his. He sat up and took her other nipple in his mouth. He could tell she was approaching another orgasm caused by his overwhelming assault on her sensitive areas. As she gushed again, he filled her with his own orgasm.

She smiled happily and kissed him as she slid off his lap. She laid her head down on a pillow and closed her eyes. She continued to try and catch her breath as he laid next to her. "Did you enjoy yourself, babe?"

"I most definitely did. I'm guessing you did too by the state of my sheets." He gave his trademark tongue lolling grin as she lightly hit his chest and chuckled.

She opened her eyes and turned to look at him. "Then next time, take the sheets off. Or we fuck in the bathroom." She shrugged and pinched his tongue. " Or you just don't complain about it. Because at least you know I'm enjoying it and not pretending that I am." She let go of his tongue and he smirked at her.

"You do have a point. And I wasn't complaining. I liked it." He draped his arm over her waist.

"Well, good. 'cause I don't know how to _not_ do that." She giggled as he got on top of her. She smiled and sighed when he laid his head on her chest. She stroked his hair as his fingers ran up and down her sides. She pulled her knees up, planting her feet flat on the bed.

He sat up in between her legs and kissed her knee. "So, you wanted to do that for the rest of the day?" He laughed when she nodded." Are you gonna get dehydrated? Should I get some water?"

She shook her head and sat up. "Lay back down," she pat the bed next to her.

He smirked and laid down. He watched her face as she hungrily took him in. She sat in between his legs and began to stroke his member. Her eyes met his as she lowered her head to lick the head of his cock. Her tongue trailed over every inch of him, from head to hilt and back up again. She took him into her mouth and smiled as he groaned and closed his eyes. Her cheeks hollowed as she took him the rest of the way and his hand fisted her hair. She hummed as she sucked hard and he kept her head down. He felt her gag slightly and released her, his cock popped out of her mouth. 

He opened his eyes as a low growl escaped him. He sat up and forced her into her back then rolled her over her. She mewled as he got on top of her. He grabbed her hands and made her spread her cheeks, opening herself up for him. He pressed himself against her back entrance. When she didn't protest, he pushed himself in and smirked when she screamed through gritted teeth. He leaned down as he began to grind his hips against her and bit her ear. One of his hands gripped a round globe of her ass and the other wrapped around her throat and pulled her head up slightly.

He licked the shell of her ear as she moaned and he felt small convulsions ripple through her. "You like that?" he whispered as he pounded into her harder. He sped up when she nodded and bit her lip. He groaned when a small burst of hot liquid hit his sac. His ministrations became harder and faster and smirked when more of her liquid hit him again.

"Fuck," he hissed as he felt his end creep up on him. He didn't want this to end and did all he could to postpone it. He slowed down and she whimpered in response. "Don't want this to end too soon, now do you?" He groaned as she shook her head. "You feel so fucking good."

"I don't mind if you come early." She turned her head slightly and moaned as he started to barrell into her harder and faster. "Just keep going," she whispered huskily, her half hooded eyes almost glowing.

He bit down on her shoulder as he filled her again. As per her command, he didn't stop. He continued his ministrations just as hard and fast as before, if not more so. He moaned as she came again, another sharp burst of liquid hitting his sac. She mewled as his fingers dug into her skin hard enough for her to feel his short nails. 

He felt her feet against his legs, hers shaking and toes curling. She could feel him stiffen inside of her, the sensation causing a small orgasm. He goaned at the feeling of her convulsing walls. He pushed her head back down and pulled her hips up slightly, the new angle causing both to moan. He thrusted into her harder than before, pride swelling in him as curses and breathy moans continuously fell from her lips.

She reached down to her weeping core with both hands. She thrusted her fingers deep into her sex and the other digits rubbed hard circles over her dripping pearl. She spread her legs slightly and arched her back as another orgasm tore through her like a wildfire. He growled as her gush of liquid hit his sac and caused his own orgasm.

She moaned as he filled her again and crumpled over, both breathing heavily. She moved slightly so he would fall from her. She kissed his forehead and stood up. He watched her stretch, their juices slowly running down her thighs, and walk out of the room. He heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on and off. He sighed when she stood in the doorway with the case of beer in her hands. He chuckled as she walked into the room and set the beer on the floor next to the bed.

She took a beer, opened it, and took a large swig. "I'm gonna be honest." She laughed when he grimaced and grabbed a beer for himself. " You're better than I thought you'd be. I figured you'd be good, but not _that_ good." She bent over to pick up his briefs and her panties. She threw his at him and then put on her own. She smiled as he grudgingly put his underwear on and sipped his beer. "Now what do you want to do?" She sat next to him on the bed.

He shrugged and sipped his beer. "I thought we were gonna fuck all day." His tongue lolled from his mouth and she giggled.

"Remember a few minutes ago when I said you were better than I thought? Yeah, I'm gonna need a few hours." She leaned over and kissed his guildmark, then his lips when he pulled his tongue back into his mouth. She adjusted the pillows and propped herself against them. She smiled as he pouted at her. "That won't work, babe."

He rolled his eyes and sat next to her. He smiled at her as her eyes closed. He watched her chest rise and fall as she breathed. He reached over and brushed a tendril of hair behind her shoulder. "You're beautiful." He sighed as a dusting of pink graced her cheeks. 

She licked her swollen lip and smiled. "You want to touch me some more, don't you?"

"I can compliment you without wanting something in return." He took a sip from his beer, not able to hide the offense he took at her words.

"I'm sorry, baby." She sat her beer on the nightstand and got in his lap, straddling him. She slowly massaged his shoulders and chest and smiled as his eyes closed and a smile slowly crept across his face. "Are you gonna forgive me?"

"If you keep doing this, yes."

"Then lay down on your stomach." She slid from his lap and he did as told. She sat next to him and massaged his shoulders and back. She was working on a particularly large knot when they heard someone knock on the door.

He groaned, not wanting to get up. "Maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away." His wishful thinking was proved to be just that when they knocked again, this time pounding on the door. He got up and put a pair of pajama pants from the floor on.

She watched him walk out as she sat back and grabbed her beer. She got up and stood in the doorway to be able to better eavesdrop.

"Dude, what?"

"Are you fucking drunk right now?" It was Laxus. Of course it was. Then she remembered her dress was still on the floor by the couch.

"No, I'm not but have been drinking. What do you want? I thought you didn't need me today."

She held her breath as the two men were silent for a moment. She heard Laxus speak again, still annoyed. "Is she here?"

She heard Bickslow sigh. "Why do you ask questions you know the answers to, man?"

"No need to be a fucking smart ass. I just came to check on you. Yesterday wasn't a good day for you."

Bickslow was silent for a moment. When he finally spoke again, his voice was softer, less annoyed at his friend. "I know, man. And I'm grateful. But I'm fine right now."

"Okay. Let me know if anything comes up."

She heard the door close and his approaching footsteps. He turned the corner to see her standing in the doorway of his bedroom, beer in hand. He figured she'd listen but would've pretended that she hadn't.

"Sparkles not wanting to share?" She raised an eyebrow at him as she took a sip of her beer. She knew Laxus hated the nicknames she had for him and smiled as she thought of his scowling face. 

He chuckled and walked past her. "Something like that."

She could tell by the tone in his voice that even if she asked more questions, he wasn't going to answer them. So, she dropped it, making a mental note to ask at a later date. She turned around and watched him take off his pants and flop onto the bed. She walked over and sat on the bed next to him. She stroked his hair as he groaned. 

He sat up and looked at her. He stroked her cheek and she smiled at him. "Will you continue my massage?"

Her smiled widened. She turned and sat her beer on the nightstand, but before she could turn around, he was pressed against her. He kissed her neck while sinking one hand into her panties. She moaned as his digits plunged into her still wet sex. He pulled down her panties with his free hand and then his own underwear. He thrusted into her rear entrance easily and she arched her back against him. He hissed through gritted teeth as he felt her walls flutter around him.

He watched as her hand went up to her breasts, pulling and rolling her nipples between her fingers. He felt a burst of liquid around his fingers. He pulled his fingers from her and stuck them in her mouth. He moaned as her tongue lapped up her juices, licking his fingers clean. His fingers went back into her weeping core as he barrelled into her harder. 

She screamed his name as she squirted again, pulling his own orgasm from him. She struggled to catch her breath as he slowly pulled himself from her and laid down with his back to her. She stood up and discarded her soaked panties and got back into bed. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek.

She wasn't going to ask. When she saw Laxus that morning, he had told her that Bickslow had a rough couple of days and to keep an eye on him. So why would she ask? How could she? She had her own issues that she refused to share with him. So why would he share with her? But at least she could let him know that whatever it was, he wasn't alone. She stroked his arm. She closed her eyes as she felt the silent sobs rip through him. She hugged him tighter. She didn't like it when people tried to talk to her when she was crying. She knew he was like that to an extent as well. But she did know he was okay with her silent comforting. She closed her eyes and waited for him to tucker himself out.

*****

_And it's killing me._   
_When I'm in your arms, I forget the darker days._   
_And it's haunting me,_   
_These feet of mine won't let me march away._

Her anxiety was getting the better of her. He seemed to have avoided her for two weeks. The Raijinshu went on a mission and he didn't tell her about it, but Laxus did. And he didn't tell her that he was back, but Laxus did.

Her mind was in a haze. What did she do? What did she say? Or was it something she didn't do or say? She was trying not to shake visibly as Laxus walked up to her at a table in the corner of the guild hall, trying to hide from everyone.

"Has he talked to you yet?"

She shook her head, her eyes not leaving the tankard in her hands. "No. But it's been two weeks so I guess we're not together anymore." Her head bobbed to the side slightly. 

"That's something you should talk to him about." His arms crossed against his chest. "I don't think that's the case."

She turned her head slowly at look at him. "It's been two weeks. And it happened after we had sex. That's what happens." She shook her head. She didn't want to think he was too good to be true, but that seemed to be the case.

He groaned, not really wanting to know that. If anything, he was a little jealous. "Fine. I'll talk to him. Rip him a new one. Send him to you when I'm done." 

She sighed and nodded. "Thanks. Just... Please talk to him soon. I miss him." She picked up her tankard and walked back down the stairs. She drank the rest of her beer and set the empty tankard on the bar. She walked to the basement staircase and went downstairs to the library. She just wanted to... She didn't know what she wanted. All she knew was that she didn't want to go home.

She searched the shelves, looking for something, anything that could keep her occupied. She found a book about card magic, her magic, and grabbed it. She sat in one of the old arm chairs and began reading. She allowed the words to occupy her thoughts, rather than her absent boyfriend.

She was pulled from her reading about halfway through the book by someone clearing their throat. She looked up and saw Bickslow. She folded the corner of the page and closed the book. She stared at him, waiting expectantly for an explanation.

He took off his hood and sat on the floor in front of her. He wanted to tell her what was going on with him, but he didn't want to scare her away. He was really scared. "I'm sorry, Cana."

With those words, she knew she wasn't going to get much out of him. At least not right now. "Okay." She didn't want to forgive him. She wasn't ready to.

He sighed and looked down at his hands. He then slowly looked around to see if there was anyone else there. "I've got... Some... Issues." He couldn't look at her.

And she noticed. She was less mad, but what the fuck was he talking about? "Everybody has some issues, Bickslow. I know I've got mine." She looked at him for a while and reached out to stroke his hair. "You can talk to me. I know about your schizophrenia. Is that what this is about? I want you to talk to me. I know I might not be the best at sharing my own shit but... Maybe if you share yours, I'd be better motivated to share mine."

He finally looked up at her. "I had a blackout. A really bad one. Laxus figured it would be best if we went on a mission, since I apparently tend to destroy shit while like that. And I didn't want you to know. Because knowing they happen and seeing them are two different things to me. I didn't want to scare you away... They make me feel weak. Like there's something seriously wrong with me."

She slid down from the chair and into his lap. "That's not weakness. That's unfortunately human. It's just how we are." She kissed his forehead." I'm here for you, okay? You don't have to hide from me. I will never think anything awful of you. I..." She groaned at herself and he looked at her questioningly. She put her arms around his shoulders. _'I might as well put that out there. And maybe if he feels the same, I'll tell him about my father...'_ "I love you, Bickslow. A whole fucking lot." She grimaced when she felt him go rigid in her arms. _'Fucking shit...'_

"What?" His voice was barely a whisper. 

"I said I love you," she whispered back and swallowed. She closed her eyes to help brace herself for what she thought was to come.

"I... I think I love you too."

She scoffed then chuckled. _'Of course he doesn't fucking know. But I'll take it. For now.'_ "Okay." She opened her eyes and licked her lips. She didn't know what else to do or say, so she just continued to hold on to him. 

He pulled away from her and smiled. "Thank you. For being you."

She smiled at him. "Oh, I try my best." She playfully flipped her hair behind her shoulder. Her smile widened as he laughed and his tongue lolled from his mouth. "There's the man I missed."

"I'm sorry for being a dick. I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with this shit. It's been going on for years now, but it's been getting worse lately. I don't know why it happens."

"You're forgiven for being a dick." She shrugged. "I'm here for you, if you need me to be. And if not, that's fine too. But I just want you to know that you have that option of letting me in or not. "

"I could say the same about you." 

_Don't ask me how_   
_But I always thought that we could have a better love._   
_When you lay me down,_   
_I forget that all I want is a better love._

She rolled her eyes then looked at the ceiling. She wished she had parents who were alive and around.

"Hey." His voice brought her back from wherever she had briefly gone. He cocked his head at her when her eyes met his. "Where'd _you_ go just now?"

She sighed. She decided to tell him some of the truth. "I was thinking about how I wish I had parents to talk to and ask for advice on these types of things. They might not know how to help, but maybe they know someone who does. I don't have any family. Except the guild." She shrugged sadly.

"You've got me now." He tilted her chin up with his fingers and kissed her. 

That did comfort her. _'He's so sweet sometimes....'_ "Thank you, babe." She looked around and saw no one else was there with them. She stood up and held her hand out for him to take.

"Something tells me you're gonna do something that would get us in trouble if caught." He stood up and took her hand. He smiled as she led him to a far off corner. "I'm really not sure if you're gonna fuck me or kill me. "

She couldn't believe what she was about to do. She was filled with a strange mixture of excitement and anxiety. It was a strange, but not an entirely unwelcome feeling. 

She smiled up at him as she leaned against the wall. She slid her hand into his pants and wrapped her fingers around his semi-erect member. She stroked him as she got down to her knees. She pulled his pants down to his thighs and smirked as his member sprang free. She took the tip into her mouth, sucking hard and smiling as he tried to stifle a groan. She massaged his sac as she slowly took more of him into her mouth until he hit the back of her throat.

He grabbed fistfuls of her hair and began to thrust into her mouth. He groaned as her tongue swept over the ridge of the head. He felt her other hand start to stroke at the same rhythm his hips were moving. She felt him twitch slightly against her tongue and knew he wouldn't last much longer. He made one hard final thrust and groaned as his release filled her mouth. 

He tried to catch his breath as he watched her pull away and look up at him. She smiled as she pulled his pants back up and she stood up. She stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek. 

He put his hands on her hips. "Are you coming over later?" She shrugged and he groaned. "I won't be able to repay you for what just happened if you don't come over."

She shrugged again. "I suppose that's true." She smiled at him and whispered, "I can't just squirt all over the library." She gasped softly as he grabbed both of the round globes of her bottom. "But if you don't care, then okay, I guess."

"I could just take you home now..." He pinned her to the wall and leaned down to kiss her neck. 

"Or you can wait." She chuckled as he scoffed. She smirked at him after he raised his head. "Brought this on yourself. Shouldn't have fuckin' ignored me for two weeks."

He sighed. He knew he kind of deserved it. He already bought a case of her favorite beer and had it in the fridge as another apology. "I know." His voice was soft and somewhat defeated. He knew that once her mind was set, not much could change it. He began to turn away but felt her hands hold him in place. He smiled down at her. "You're something else." 

"So you keep telling me." She reached up to pull his face down to hers and he lifted her up. She chuckled as their lips met. She closed her eyes and put her forehead against his. "Fine. Let's go watch a movie. Or take a nap. Or both. I don't know. I just missed you, okay?" She wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

He held her tightly. She was usually so composed and kept her feelings under wraps. He'd caught a glimpse of how she really feels and it turns out she might be just as broken as he is. He sighed as he set her down. He smiled softly as she led the way.

The entire walk to his house was silent, both mages stuck in a state of self-reflection. He took his keys from his pocket and unlocked his door. She walked in and took off her shoes and sat on the couch. He smiled as his babies flew from his pockets and one went to Cana. _'Fucking Pappa...'_ He heard the two softly speaking as he grabbed the beer from the fridge. One of the other babies turned on the lacrima television and the others sat on the table to watch it. He sat down next to Cana and handed her a beer.

She took the bottle and looked over at him. She studied him. She loved him but wondered if love was supposed to hurt so much. She shook those thoughts away as he grabbed a beer and stared back at her. They sat there like that for awhile, drinking their beers and staring at each other.

He watched as she stood up and walked down the hall. After a few minutes, he got up to follow her and found her laying in bed. He walked over to the nightstand and set his beer down. She sat up and looked at him. He could see she was sad but wasn't sure why. He sat next to her and put his arm around her. He kissed her temple. He felt her take a few deep breaths. She then looked up at him smiling and kissed his chin. He sighed as he rubbed her arm.

He got up and stood in front of her, standing between her legs. He pushed her down gently and got down on his knees. He kissed up her thighs as his hands reached under her dress to find her panties and pulled them off. He smiled as she took off her dress, noticing she wasn't wearing a bra. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer.

His tongue dove gently between her slick folds, licking up to her clit and down to her warm opening. She moaned when he plunged into her. He smiled as her moans became shaky when he began to rub her clit. He groaned as she rolled her hips into his movements, forcing his tongue deeper. Her back arched slightly and he felt a small trickle from her. A small orgasm.

Her eyes rolled back into her head as his tongue found that sponge like bundle. His fingers moved faster as his tongue did a swirling motion that made her head spin. Her body started to shake and her walls clenched around him. He groaned as her juices coated his tongue and he lapped up all he could.

He stood up and looked down at her. He smiled as her eyes opened and found his. He laid down down next to her. "What should we do today?"

She sighed and chuckled. "I don't know." She turned to look at him. She reached out to trace his eye socket, then the swirl that extended from the corner of his eye. "I just want to be with you."

"Oh, well then." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "We can do whatever."

She studied his face. "Do you want to know why I joined the guild?"

His brow furrowed. He didn't expect her to want to talk, but welcomed her sudden need to unburden herself. "No. Why?"

She sighed and closed her eyes. "My mom had died. And for years, it was just the two of us. I was six. But before she died, she told me about my dad. He was a mage that she fell in love with. But he was so obsessed with work and was hardly home. So she left. And unbeknownst to him, had me. She told me what guild he was in. So I found the guild. Fairy Tail." She sighed shakily. She decided she wouldn't tell him who her dad was. "She said he was powerful. And I decided that I won't tell him until I become an S-Class wizard. That I can be someone he can be proud of. That I can be strong." She felt him wipe away a tear before it fell down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Cana." He didn't know what to say. He just held her close. _'No wonder she's pissed at me for ditching her. Probably felt like I abandoned her. I fuckin' suck as a boyfriend.... Hey, wait. She did the S-Class trials a while ago... Maybe I could help train her...'_ "How about this: I help train you for the next S-Class trial." He smiled when she beamed up at him.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He kissed her forehead. "Wanna start today?"

"Yes. But let me take a nap first. Sharing feelings is exhausting. You're lucky I love you."

He chuckled. "I love you too."

*****

_Show me a better love._   
_Show me a better love, better love._   
_Show me a better love._   
_Show me a better love, better love._

She tried to keep her composure. _'This is fucking stupid. Why did I agree to this? Oh, that's right. I want fucking Gildarts to be proud of me. Yeah. Smart fucking move, Cana...'_

"I need you to focus."

She opened one eye and glared at him. She closed her eyes again and tried to focus. On what, she wasn't entirely sure. She couldn't remember at this point. Maybe her breathing? She didn't realize Bickslow was going to make her meditate when she agreed to let him train her.

He smiled at her. He could tell by the look on her face that her mind couldn't slow down enough to meditate. He leaned over and kissed her. He chuckled when her shoulders sank in defeat. "We don't have to meditate. I just find that it helps me when I need to focus."

She rolled her eyes. Of course it does. She got up from the floor and went over to the fridge and got a beer. She was nervous. They'd been together for three months and this was the first time he'd been in her apartment at Fairy Hills since. She even cleaned for him. He was really lucky she loved him.

He stood up and walked over to her. Every time he had looked at her, he smiled: she had ditched her normal dress for shorts and a bikini top. He put his hands on her hips and kissed her forehead. "Come on. Let's do something else."

"You just want me to use a sexy lady card." She chuckled as he groaned.

"You're the only sexy lady I need."

She sighed and smiled at him. "Gods, I love you."

He beamed proudly. "I love you too." He leaned down to kiss her. "Now, let's go train. I want to see how you use what I've taught you so far."

She groaned. "I don't want to." She pouted at him.

"Then what do you want to do?" His tongue lolled from his mouth.

She stuck her tongue out to poke his guildmark. "I don't know. I don't want to train."

He chuckled. He lifted her up onto the counter and kissed her. His hands went up her back and untied her bikini top and threw it on the floor. She moaned into his mouth as he rolled her nipple between his fingers. She leaned her head back and he kissed her neck.

"I wasn't really suggesting this... But we can if you want." She moaned as he greedily pulled her shorts and bit her shoulder. 

He pulled down his pants to free his member as she pressed her legs into his sides. He groaned as he pushed himself into her weeping sex. She pulled off his shirt and kissed him, their tongues wrestling. He gripped her thigh tightly, his knuckles turning white. He knew at this particular angle that he wouldn't last long; she just felt too fucking good.

She knew it too. She moaned as his fingers pinched her nipple hard, causing her toes to curl. He groaned as he felt her orgasm burst from her and trickle down to his sac. He felt her fingernails dig into his back as his own orgasm filled her.

She put her forehead against his and stroked his hair. "When do you guys leave?"

He sighed. "In the morning. Apparently, we'll be gone for like a month. Think you can go that long without me?"

She chuckled and pulled him closer, wrapping her legs around him. "Can _you_ go that long without _me?"_ She reached down and grabbed his sac as she rolled her hips, smirking as he groaned. "I don't think you can." She pushed him away playfully and jumped down from the counter. She picked up her clothes and got dressed. She turned back to face him and saw that he was still in front of the counter with his pants pulled down. She chuckled. "Oh, I will miss you."

He turned his head to look at her, cocking it to one side. There was something off about him that she couldn't quite explain. He pulled his pants up and he walked towards her. He stood in front of her and crossed his arms.

"Bix, are you okay?" 

He nodded sharply. "Are you?" Even his voice was slightly different. It was darker somehow. He took a few steps towards her and she stepped back every time, eventually bumping into the couch. He smirked when she fell back.

She was confused. She had no idea what was going on with him. He was fine one moment and the next... He was this. She watched as he sat down next to her. And then she remembered what he said: that he had blackouts. ' _I was bound to see it eventually...'_ She reached out and hesitantly touched his face. "Oh, Bix..." Her voice barely above a whisper.

"Your concern is touching."

"That sounded sarcastic." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at him. "Well, what are you going to do now?"

He shrugged and leaned back. "Dunno. Was hoping you." He reached out and traced the red bite mark on her shoulder. 

She chuckled. _'Nice to know he's still the same.' "_ Of course you were." She curled into his side. "Can we stay like this for a bit?" She draped her arm over his waist.

"Sure. Why the fuck not."

She wanted to get a hold of Laxus, but really didn't want to set Bickslow off. He had told her he often destroys shit in this state. She was afraid to leave him alone even for the brief time it would take to call Laxus. She knew he had dealt with this before. She was internally facepalming herself for not asking Laxus about it after Bickslow had told her. She pulled away and looked up at him. He was staring down at her hungrily with dark red eyes. She furrowed her brow as a smirk slowly spread across his face. 

"What are you planning?" She stared at him while she got up to get her beer from the kitchen. She tried not to drop the bottle when he grabbed her hips. _'I'm in trouble....'_

He undid her shorts and slid his hand into her bikini bottoms. She moaned as his finger rubbed her mound. He began to slide her shorts down when there was a knock on the door.

She reached down and pulled his hand from her and fixed her pants. She walked up to the door as he let out a low groan. "Yeah?"

"It's Laxus."

 _'Oh, thank Mavis...'_ She opened the door and he groaned at her. "Have I mentioned that I hate you?" He crossed his arms as Bickslow picked up his shirt and put it on. "Change of plans. We're leaving tonight."

"Fun." Cana looked at Laxus and nodded towards Bickslow.

Not sure what the fuck she was gesturing at him for, Laxus looked at Bickslow. Shit. Cana stared wide-eyed as his demeanor changed. He softened slightly at his friend. "Hey, man. Say goodbye to your girl, okay?" He turned in the doorway and looked down the hall, knowing Bickslow had a tendency to bolt from him during his blackouts. 

Bickslow stood in front of her. He kissed her forehead and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Too bad. I was gonna fuck that pretty little ass of yours until you squirted all over your kitchen." 

She yelped softly as he squeezed her bottom as hard as he could and blushed when she heard Laxus cough. She stared incredulously at the two as Laxus leaned in and said, "Dude, are you fucking serious right now?" She smiled when Bickslow gave his typical tongue lolling grin and laughed. She laughed herself when she heard Laxus say, "Please stop that," as they walked down the hall. 

She closed her door and leaned against it. She walked back to the kitchen and finished her beer. She threw the bottle in the trash and took another from the fridge. ' _What the fuck am I gonna do if that happens around me again? He looked... Insatiable...'_ She groaned as she opened the bottle and took a large swig.

She knew that other side of him was trouble.

*****

Two and a half weeks later, she got a knock on her door in the middle of the night. She groaned as she got up and answered it.

"Laxus, what the fuck?" She watched him walk in and sit on her couch. She shut the door and sat next to him. It had been awhile since he just showed up at her place in the middle of the night. Her heart started to accelerate. "Is Bix okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine. We just got back from the mission. He went home to sleep. I thought I should come talk to you."

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked at the blond as well as she could in the dark. "Okay. About what?"

He sighed as he looked at her. "Does he know about us? I'll be honest, sometimes I'm a little jealous. And during his blackout, he was telling me about the times you guys have had sex and..." He groaned. "And then when we got home, I went to get some coke. Everything is fine."

She rolled her eyes. "Laxus..." She knew that every now and again, he did come. For no real reason. Just because. She found him doing it one night as she went out the back of the guild hall. She knew he didn't do it all the time, but she still didn't like it regardless. 

"I know you're mad." He put a hand on her shoulder. For some reason, he always had a soft spot for Cana. When it was just the two of them, he wasn't his usual mean and brooding self. "But I will say this and then I'll drop it unless you bring it up. I care about you both a lot. I don't know who I love more, but I do love you both. And I do know that if he ever hurts you, I'll hurt him."

"Don't do that. You know I would never want you to do that."

"I know... Wow, I am super talkative tonight." 

She chuckled at him. "You are a little chattier than usual." She sighed. "But no, he doesn't know about us. " She ran her hands through her hair as there was another knock on the door. She groaned.

"It's Bickslow."

She got up, walked over to the door and opened it. He walked in and saw Laxus on the couch. In the dark. In his girlfriend's apartment.

"Why are you here, man?" He looked at Cana. "And why are you in the dark?"

"Because he woke me up and I can't be fucking bothered to turn on a light right now. He came to talk about you." She walked over and turned one of her dimmer lamps on. She walked over to the fridge and opened it, grabbing three beers. She then put one pack and grabbed a water bottle. She walked back over and handed Laxus the water bottle and Bickslow a beer. "I hate you both right now." She sat on the couch next to Laxus and looked at him. She shook her head."I can't fucking believe you. You know how I feel about that shit."

Laxus opened the water bottle and downed half of it. "I know. Way to make me feel like shit. I'm fucking sorry." He looked at Bickslow as he sat on the floor. "I'm sorry I'm here, man."

Bickslow leaned his head against Cana's knee. "I think I know why you're here... So, it's okay... "

Cana stroked his hair and sighed. "Come to apologize for your bragging?" She sighed again as he shook his head.

Laxus stood up. "I'm gonna leave now."

"I'll yell at you later."

He grimaced as he walked towards the door, opened it, waved, and walked out.

"What the fuck is up with him?"

"He did some coke before he came over here. He likes it because it makes his head feel better. At least that's what he told me a couple years ago."

Bickslow lifted himself up onto the couch. "I know. He doesn't do it that often anymore."

_Show me a better love, better love._   
_Show me a better love, better love._

"Good. I hate that shit." She looked at him. "I can't believe you actually told him about our sex life."

"I'm sorry. I didn't..." He couldn't even come up with an excuse. He didn't even remember telling him until Laxus pulled him aside and yelled at him during the mission. 

She held hand up to him. She didn't want to hear his excuses over it. She knew it was a thing boys did. Girls did it too, but not to brag; it was more so to tell other girls that a particular someone was taken. Still, it made her embarrassed... She wanted to cry. And she wasn't really sure why. 

"I'm sorry..." He could see she was upset. He took her beer when he saw the tears stream down her cheeks. He set both bottles on the floor, then pulled her into his lap. He stroked her hair as sobs violently flooded from her. He didn't know where this came from.

"That's all I am. An easy lay? You didn't tell him all the other stuff, just that we have sex? I'm just sex? I should've fucking known better..." She covered her face. 

"Cana..." He didn't realize that she might have insecurities about that. He also didn't realize how much she held in. "You are so much more than that. I love you. You are something else." He pulled her hands from her face." You have a beautiful soul. And I don't want you to hurt yourself over things like that. You can talk to me about anything. There is no need to think that is all you are to me. "

She felt the panic slowly subside at his words. She wiped the tears from her cheeks as he put his arms around her hips. "What does my soul look like?"

He cocked his head at her. "It's this... Light purple color with bits of blue and silver orbiting it."

"What does that mean?"

He chuckled softly, glad that something was able to take her mind of off her insecurities. As far as he was concerned, she had nothing to be insecure about. When he blacked out, he left himself notes. The most recent one said 'she's super fucking hot, no need to worry.' Which to him, meant he wasn't going to wake up in some random girl's bed while he was with her. 

"Most people with purple souls, despite the shade, have found some kind of balance of their energies, meaning spiritual and physical. They're very grounded people, but usually have pretty good imaginations. And they usually love very selflessly. They also usually meditate, but you seem to be the exception." He smiled when she laughed as she put her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck. 

"The blue represents loyalty. Responsibility. Confidence. They take control and tend to do the right things in tough situations. The silver represents... Fluidity. Sensitivity. Emotional. It's versitile." He picked her up and turned the lamp off. He took her to her room and laid her in bed. He smiled when she gestured for him to join her.   
  
She sighed. She felt like he was afraid to talk to her about himself, about his illness, about his blackouts. She just wanted him to feel safe with her... Like she did with him. "You can tell me things, you know."

He sighed as he pulled her close. "I know. I'm just.. not very good at sharing."

"I'm not saying you have to tell me everything."

He chuckled as she rolled over; she liked to be the little spoon. "I know. And you can talk to me too."

"I am also not good at talking about shit." She sighed as she closed her eyes. "I just worry a lot. About whether I'm good enough. Good enough to be in the guild. Good enough to be with you. Just good enough in general."

"You're more than good enough for me. In fact, you're better than that. You put up with my shit. That's all I can ask for."

She turned to look at him. "You mean it?"

"Of course. I'm not gonna lie to you. I might omit certain things, but completely lie isn't going to happen." He kissed her. He smiled when he felt her finally relax. "You don't need to worry with me."

She rolled back over to face him. "Okay," she whispered. For the first time in two months, she felt secure. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his chest. 

*****

_And it's killing me._   
_When I'm in your arms, I forget the darker days._   
_And it's haunting me,_   
_These feet of mine won't let me march away._

She smiled as she woke up in his arms. She felt him nuzzle her neck and kiss it. "Good morning."

He kissed her neck again. "Morning." He loved waking up next to her. Especially in his bed. Hers was okay, but he liked his better. It was roomier and much more comfortable. 

She giggled as his arm around her waist held her tighter. She felt his stiff erection against her bottom and smiled as she pulled away and he whined softly. She got up to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth. She could tell that he'd been up for awhile and knew that the first thing he would've done had been brush his teeth. When she finished, she walked back into the room. She smiled at him as she got back in bed.

"What will we do today?" She sighed as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her.

He leaned his forehead against hers. "Well... We could go on a picnic. There's that lake in the woods not too far from here. We could go swimming."

She smiled excitedly. "You'd cook? You're such a good cook."

"Yeah, I can do that for you."

She giggled happily as she rolled over and arched her back to look up at him. She smiled as he kissed her. She gasped softly as he pressed himself against her rear entrance. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as he pushed himself inside. She loved that he so willingly did that for her; she preferred anal sex and he was happy to comply.

He groaned as he was fully sheathed in her. He thrusted into her, his ministrations hard and fast right off the bat. He wrapped his fingers around her throat. He knew that she like it rough and was willing to do it. He reached down with his free hand and cupped her womanhood. He smirked when she moaned as his fingers plunged inside her and found that spongey bundle of nerves.

Her legs began to shake as his thumb ran circles over her clit. A string of curses rose up from her throat as her muscles started spasming. She closed her eyes and lazily smiled as he groaned at the gush of her come that hit his hand. She knew this soon after waking up meant he wouldn't last much longer. She moaned when she felt his cock twitch and fill her. She swelled with pride at the thought of knowing his body so well.

He smiled as her body relaxed. He had found that on days where they had sex in the morning, her anxiety wasn't as bad. He kissed the top of her head. He stood up and stretched. He went to the dresser and grabbed a pair of underwear and put them on. He turned to ask her what she wanted to eat on the picnic and sighed as he saw she fell back asleep. He walked over, leaned down to kiss her forehead, and left the room. He knew what her favorite foods were and just planned on making some of that.

As he finished up cooking, there was a knock on the door. He walked back into the bedroom, picked a pair of pants from the floor and put them on. He walked back to the front door and opened it.

"Hey, man." Laxus rubbed his face. He looked like he had been crying.

He stepped aside and let his friend come in. He closed the door as Cana walked out, thankfully wearing clothes. She saw Laxus' face and held her arms open. He was surprised to see him hug her. He sighed as he watched his friend drop to his knees.

"I need help."

She smiled down at him, so proud of him for being able to admit that he had a problem. "What happened?" She stroked his hair and she looked up at Bickslow and mouthed 'water.' He nodded and went to get some, her watching him. "Tell me all about it."

"I went to Mira's. I broke in and got in bed with her. I just missed the way she smelled. I just wanted to lay down, I didn't want to do anything. And she let me. Until she found me doing coke in her bathroom."

She sighed. "Maybe you shouldn't do coke in bathrooms. Maybe you shouldn't do coke."

"I know. That's why I came to you. Because I knew you'd help me. You both would."

She smiled as Bickslow brought him a bottle of water. He sat on the floor and pat his friend on the back. "We're here, man. We'll help you." He looked up at Cana. "We'll postpone our picnic."

"How about we still do it, but we just bring him with us? If I know you," she scruffed Laxus' hair and he groaned with discontent, causing her to smile, "then I know that you won't want to go to a facility. So, we'll do it ourselves. You'll spend all your time with us."

Bickslow smiled. She was so good to others. He wondered why her anxiety was so bad when she was such a good person but then realized that had nothing to do with it. "We'll get you cleaned up. You have anymore on you?"

"No, I finished what I had at Mira's." He sniffled and looked at his friends. He felt so lucky. But he knew he was probably going to fuck up a time or two and relapse. He felt the need to share that thought. "I'm afraid I'll relapse."

She sighed and got down on the floor with them. "And that's okay. That's part of the process. I don't expect you to be get absolutely clean forever on your first try. Am I condoning it? No. But do I understand it? Yes. And I won't be mad. He won't either. We love you and are here for you." She smiled and it got wider when he smiled back. "Why don't you take a shower? Bix will sit in there with you. Mostly because I've met my fair share of junkies and know they aren't always honest. Sorry."

He chuckled softly. "I'm okay with that. I just... I just want to try and do this. I want to get clean."

"And you will. It'll just take some time."

*****

  
_Show me a better love,_   
_A better love,_   
_A better love._   
_Show me a better love,_   
_A better love,_   
_A better love._

She sat on the blanket biting into a little sandwich with pistachio butter Bickslow made himself and a... She honestly forgot what kind of jelly and felt like jelly wasn't the right word. She watched the two men behave like children in the water, splashing around. She heard something behind her and turned to see Mira behind a tree. She stood up and walked over to her.

"How is he?"

"He wants to get clean. Probably because of you. So be proud that you managed to do in one night what I failed to do for years." She turned to see her leaning against the tree. She saw she had a black eye. She opened her mouth to ask but was cut off.

"I tried to take it from him and he swung at me. When he saw me on the ground, he ran off." She sighed. "I love him, but regardless I'm not taking him back. Not after that. I don't need that in my life. I've get enough problems. I don't need that too." She turned and began to walk away. She stopped and turned her head. "Just keep him safe." She walked away into the forest.

Cana looked back at the guys. She was mad until she saw them, and then her anger melted away. She saw a smile on Laxus' face, one she hadn't seen in a long time. She looked at Bickslow, who also had a large smile plastered on his face. She wished she had a camera, and then remembered her cards. She pulled out a blank card from her bag and held it up in front of her. She smiled as the image of her two favorite men enjoying themselves in the lake on a warm spring day appeared. She put it back in her bag and stared at them.

_Show me a better love._   
_Show me a better love, better love._   
_Show me a better love._   
_Show me a better love, better love._

She smiled as they both walked up to her. "You guys having fun?"

"Hell, yeah, babe." Bickslow chuckled as he put a wet arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple.

She crinkled her nose and smiled at him. She then turned to Laxus. "What about you?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I am. I'm with two of my best friends. The only way this would be better was is Freed and Ever came."

She smiled and whistled. Evergreen came running from the woods and tackled Laxus, and then sat up demurely like nothing happened. "Hello, dear friend."

Cana smiled at the woman. She didn't know her very well, but knew she was rather curt with everyone. It was nice to see that Laxus was able to soften those around him, although she honestly figured it was Bickslow and his lackadaisical approach to life compared to the rest of his team. 

Cana looked over to see Freed sit down next to her donning his usual speedo and chuckled softly. When he looked at her with narrow eyes she held up her hands in surrender. She smiled when he chuckled at her. 

She looked at Bickslow who smiled happily at her. She took another card from her bag and captured the moment yet again. Her smiling boyfriend with his three best friends laughing at something one of them had said.

_Show me love, better love._


End file.
